The Anti Bully Blog Series Edition #11 Follow Up

Where to begin? Well I remember the other girls in my grade being jealous of her when she was in grade 5. Know why? The boy NOTICED she was more developed than we were (myself included). Pretty sure I told Natasha this, I was in the jealous group, never picked on her, but never spoke to her either until she was seated next to me in class.

I remember SHE actually broke the ice. We spoke in class but never really chummy, until she gave me a shout one day. We sat on the phone for an hour, easy. After that there was NO separating us, and if we WERE separated we were sitting on the phone. As a matter of fact, I remember the day that she had her top pulled up. I wasn’t there. My dad had a rule about coming home RIGHT after school, and she would have been far easier to corner. I got a call, her, obviously crying, you would be too. There WAS more to that story with that girl. We were crazy cheesey kids, and decided to have 5 of us dress up like the Spice Girls and do a routine in front of the school at an assembly the NEXT DAY. The girl who actually did it, if I recall correctly, was supposed to be in that dance with us. Natasha DID try and tough it out but was so upset about the situation she made herself sick, and ended up going home, and we grabbed our backup person. The dance sounds like it wasn’t a BIG deal, but I remember Natasha practicing, A LOT and it meant something to her, the fact she didn’t end up being in it DID bother her.

I remember her taking the blame for things she DIDN’T do, and not understanding why. It all came together in my head after reading her piece she wrote for me, it was what she was putting up with behind closed doors. When that came out, it came out HARDCORE. I remember my dad asking me about it, because I’d had sleepovers at her house. I knew NOTHING about it, and this was going on BEFORE she became friends with me. I remember feeling guilty. INSANELY guilty. Natasha told me EVERYTHING, but she never told me that. I felt like I let her down, that I could have done something. Maybe if I’d known, I could have, but I NEVER saw things that were red flags to me until now. Looking back I remember her not wanting him around, when we were at her house we’d go to her room and shut the door, and if he came in she’d be CRAZY upset. When we were somewhere with him she’d try and get away from him. EVEN at one of her Birthday’s she had a dance and he operated the music, I’m not sure I remember her at the table with us all trying to place requests. I see them now, but I felt I dropped the ball as her friend on a few occasions, but that was the big one.

Today Natasha is an INCREDIBLE woman. She’s still the same girl I met, always smiling and open to making new friends. They never took that from her. They didn’t break her, WHO she is, never changed, and it’s incredible that it didn’t. She DEFIANTLY grew a backbone, but she never became bitter or angry. She stayed happy, and positive. Natasha has ALWAYS been, and remains to this day an UNBELIEVABLE friend, and what’s more is it’s not hard to get that friendship with her.

Thanks again to Nate for designing the Logo. Remember the blog goes as long as I have material. If you have something to contribute you can fb me OR e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com . Watch for an upcoming edition that will feature more of a study into bullying. Absolutely fascinating, and may be a mini series in itself.

The Anti Bully Blog Series Edition #11

Ok so this is a story that got personal for me. I think in the past I've shared that I was an "anti bully" as a kid and had some REALLY CLOSE friends who I did my best to help. Well this is one of them. This is Natasha's story. She kind of gushes about me which made me feel amazing, and yet I still feel like I could have done more for her. I digress, I'll go into that with the follow up post, today's story is Natasha's, not my view on it. There are parts in this that may upset people, I'll be honest I was upset when I learned some of this story. You'll see what I mean so without further delay Natasha's story :

I like to start off by saying Nancy’s right when she says she was not the one bullied, but has a lot of friends that where. Over the years she was my rock though my transition from grade 5 to 6, as well through Jr. High school. I would like to make this clear right now if it was not for friends like Nancy’s love and support I would have never lived through grade 6.

A lot of my bulling started when my parents decided to put me back up a grade in grade 5 after holding me back in grade 1, upon our move back to NS from Ontario. After moving back to NS and discovering I have a learning disability, my parents thought it best that I redo grade 1,to be sure I picked up anything I had missed in Ontario. At that time I was still in early French Immersion, it was not till grade 3 that I started school in English. The summer after grade 3 we moved out to Cole Harbour, I started grade 4 and everything went well. All though the children from the upper grades quickly noticed that I was more developed then most the other girls my age, the tormenting about stuffing my bra did not bother me that much.

October 31of grade 5 that was all about to change, that night I was trying to tell my dad that I was not getting something in school and he turned to me and said “if you’re doing as bad as you think, why do they want to be put up a grade into grade 6. From the moment I walked into the classroom Nancy befriended me. I quickly learned who the “cool” kids were. Although within to classroom I was made to feel welcome with Mr. B, on the playground was a different story. As most girls did I developed a crush on one of the “cool” kids. Well shortly after some of the kids found out about it, and had one of the “cool” girls ask me out for one of the “cool” boys. It was not the guy I liked but I thought it would get me in to the “cool” group, so I said yes. The next day in font of every one she comes up to me with the “cool” guys making fun of me saying “why would any of them want to date you” and that’s how the hell started. A few months later, one of the other girl’s started again with saying that I stuff my bra. She then pulled up my bra and top in front of the both grade 6 classes. Things like this continued for the rest of the year.

When Jr. High started it got worse, I was put in a class part time with other children with learning disabilities. This special class worked as both my saving grace and the source of my bulling through Jr. High. This class gave me a family of support; it taught me that I was not alone with my learning disability. There were other kids just like me, going through the same thing. But in the regular classroom the other children felt I was getting “special treatment”, when I was doing much better mark wise then most of the other children. What they did not see is the long hours I was putting in at home to even keep up with my school work. These good marks came because Miss. H who took the time to help me figure out how I learn best, which are skills I’m thankful for today. The other children saw it as cheating and reminded me of this on a daily basis.

By the time grade 9 came I was used to the bulling, I’d get blamed for the teacher finding out who was cheating on tests in class. That year I almost got beat up for telling on the person who threw the teachers’ slides out the window, when I was not even in the class at the time that it happened. I had gone home sick earlier that day and only few people noticed I was not there. Later on the year I was blamed for telling on the person who stole the teachers glasses. That day I was not even in school, I was at the hospital getting my wisdom teeth out. Although I did take the blame for both things, to protect someone, who had told me it was them .

After Jr. High, life got a little easier in high school, when I met more people like me, who enjoyed art. I was able to blend in more in high school. Then I after it come out in grade 12 that I was sexually abused by my step-father, from I age of 9 to 16, everyone felt so bad no one blamed me for anything after that.

To those who watch people getting bullied, you never know if there’s bigger secret someone is keeping. The bulling never seemed as bad as what I went through at home.

To those who are being bullied I know it’s hard but you’ll make it through it. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you become a stronger person because of it. I know it is hard tell an Adult from fear of it getting worse. Start by realizing you’re not alone in your story, reach out to friends to help you through it. I wish I had the strength to tell but I did not. I thank god every day for sending me people like Nancy that help me though it and had the strength to tell when the bulling got too bad for me to take at the time.

To those who bullied me for years, I forgive you for the hell you put me through, and thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself. It was a hard lesson to learn that way, but it gave me the strength and knowledge to write this, so my story might help others going though that same hell.

Thanks again SO much to Natasha for sharing her story, knowing her through some of the worse parts I've gotta say that she's come a LONG way. The Follow up to this story is coming Wednesday, keep your eyes peeled for it. Remember any time you want to contact me with anything related to the blog series you can FB me, OR send me an e-mail nancy.wood@mbsradio.com .It's confidential unless you give me permission to use your name, Natasha was cool with this more so for the ending as I'm sure you understand. I'll end with a big thanks to the creator of the logo, Nate. Keep an eye out for the follow up!

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #10 Follow Up

So wanted to start by thanking Shawn for sharing the story he had. I saw Shawn during the summer at a station event and he told me how much he LOVED the blog series and if it was coming back. So it seemed only fitting to share HIS story as my first listener story after the Hiatus.

I don’t know about you but reading his story it sounded JUST like some thing you’d read in one of the Chicken Soup books, and I think that’s FANTASTIC! You can read those books, but they’re not some one who could live just down the street from you. It BEYOND sucks that Kyle felt that way and I am SO glad that he found his way out in Shawn. If you caught my first post after the break I said “Be a friend to some one who needs it”. Sounds so simple doesn’t it? So small a gesture, and come to realize it COULD save a life. It’s something we were taught at a VERY young age, how to be a friend, so clearly it can’t be terribly difficult, but it can make a WORLD of difference.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying “ A friend in need is a friend indeed”. Anyone can be that friend who you go to the fair with, or play video games with, but a TRUE friend is the one who has 4 wheel drive on their truck and picks you up during a snow storm without hesitation. Or the friend you wake up at 2am because you broke up with your significant other and they’re at your house within 5 min, no questions asked. And when you go that extra mile for some one, they’re pretty quick to be that friend right back when you need them, and guess what, one day you’ll need them too.

Do I expect you to like EVERYONE? No, it’s not possible, you’ll always meet people you don’t like but you being a jerk? Really? Do you want that person you don’t like to make you a lesser person. Remember what Thumper said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”.

I want to thank Shawn for sharing his Incredible story, and allowing me to share it on the Anti-Bully Blog! Shawn you ARE an Anti-Bully! If you’ve got a story you think would make for a GREAT future edition you can e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com with any questions or contributions, EVERYONE has a story and I would LOVE to hear yours. Remember ALL posts are kept confidential unless the author gives me permission to share their name, like Shawn did.

Also want to thank Nate, the creator of the Anti-Bully Logo. Keep your eyes peeled for the next edition featuring a girl I grew up with who REALLY went through A LOT!

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #10

Ok so this post was written by a Listener I ran into over the summer who asked me when the series was coming back. My response, when I have some stories to share. SO Shawn shared one with me, one of his experiences.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking to the bus .His name was Kyle.It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids point at him ad then started running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him he landed hard in the hall .

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land on the floor about ten feet from him .

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him.

I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him what bus he took .As it turned out, he took the same one as me , so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before .

We talked all the way home.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!

He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Kyle and I became best friends .When we were seniors in high school he had all the ladies and i was just on the sidelines, we began to think about after high school . Kyle decided on college , me i wanted to take a break from school . So kyle moved to Toronto to go to college and we lost touch.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would not ever be a problem.

teased him all the time about being a nerd.

The other day i got a email from him and i couldnt belive it was him , this is what it says :



Dear Shawn

"I want to tell you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story" , the friday we first met i had planned to kill myself over the weekend. i cleaned out my locker that day , that is why i had so much books i didnt want my mom have to do it when i was gone but thankfully, I was saved. It was because you cared enough to help me when i was beeing bullied in high school and when nobody seemed to care i begain to think who would miss me and i decided against killing myself " .



After i read the email i didnt realize my actions would have so much depth to a persons life .


Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life for
better or for worse!

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.Today is a gift. Show your passion for life and live like its your last day. above all never give up on hope!!

tell a friend how much you care!!!!!

A REALLY powerful Story want to thank Shawn for sharing it. Don't forget that you can contribute to the Anti Bully Blog Series by e-mailing me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com or via FB. Can't WAIT to hear your story! Want to thank Nate for designing our logo as well. The follow up to today's post will hit the web Friday :)

The Anti Bully Blog Series, IT'S BACK!

So tomorrow is the big day, Back To School. Some Kids are looking forward to a clean slate, some are looking forward to seeing their friends again and SOME are Absolutely dreading it. Now some of the dreaders just HATE School, and for some they’re about to enter back into the world of being pushed into lockers, called every name in the book, and eating their lunches alone. Going home and crying, and BEGGING their parents “Please don’t make me go to School Today”. Enter stage right the Anti- Bully Blog. This was a Project that I started last Spring, a little something I used on my blog to vent, because though I can’t say I endure it, I hate it! The stories I’ve heard about some of the things that some kids have done to others, and the some times dark and grim results, it’s sickening that people in general do this AT ALL, let alone kids. And THAT is exactly why TODAY the Anti-Bully Blog returns. Back in the Spring I got to make contact with Bullying Canada, and Kids Help Phone, and Both will be helping me with the return of the series. I’ve also over the summer made contact with the Teen Resource Center who I hope to work with soon. I’m still sticking to the old format too where I ask YOU to contribute and have since gotten some response. For the record THAT never ends, Questions and contributions CAN be made via FB or E-mail nancy.wood@mbsradio.com and should you choose to remain anonymous that will be respected. Unfortunately EVERYONE has a story. If you’re a teacher reading this it would be amazing if you could use the blog as a tool, OR perhaps encourage students to contribute. If you’re a Student, I ask you to be an Anti Bully

Treat people the way you want to be treated

If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all

Be a Friend to some one who could use one

Try and talk bullies down (without putting yourself in harms way)

I’m not telling you you have to be best friends with everyone, that’s not possible. There are always going to be people you don’t like. I’m just saying STOP THE INSANITY! If you don’t like some one don’t talk to them. Bullies SUCK point blank…don’t be one! On that note, enjoy your school year, and keep your eyes peeled for the next edition!

Big thanks to Nate, the creator of the Anti- Bullying Logo! Also remember if you've got questions or contributions e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com Everything is confidential unless you give me permission :)