Ok so this is a story that got personal for me. I think in the past I've shared that I was an "anti bully" as a kid and had some REALLY CLOSE friends who I did my best to help. Well this is one of them. This is Natasha's story. She kind of gushes about me which made me feel amazing, and yet I still feel like I could have done more for her. I digress, I'll go into that with the follow up post, today's story is Natasha's, not my view on it. There are parts in this that may upset people, I'll be honest I was upset when I learned some of this story. You'll see what I mean so without further delay Natasha's story :
I like to start off by saying Nancy’s right when she says she was not the one bullied, but has a lot of friends that where. Over the years she was my rock though my transition from grade 5 to 6, as well through Jr. High school. I would like to make this clear right now if it was not for friends like Nancy’s love and support I would have never lived through grade 6.
A lot of my bulling started when my parents decided to put me back up a grade in grade 5 after holding me back in grade 1, upon our move back to NS from Ontario. After moving back to NS and discovering I have a learning disability, my parents thought it best that I redo grade 1,to be sure I picked up anything I had missed in Ontario. At that time I was still in early French Immersion, it was not till grade 3 that I started school in English. The summer after grade 3 we moved out to Cole Harbour, I started grade 4 and everything went well. All though the children from the upper grades quickly noticed that I was more developed then most the other girls my age, the tormenting about stuffing my bra did not bother me that much.
October 31of grade 5 that was all about to change, that night I was trying to tell my dad that I was not getting something in school and he turned to me and said “if you’re doing as bad as you think, why do they want to be put up a grade into grade 6. From the moment I walked into the classroom Nancy befriended me. I quickly learned who the “cool” kids were. Although within to classroom I was made to feel welcome with Mr. B, on the playground was a different story. As most girls did I developed a crush on one of the “cool” kids. Well shortly after some of the kids found out about it, and had one of the “cool” girls ask me out for one of the “cool” boys. It was not the guy I liked but I thought it would get me in to the “cool” group, so I said yes. The next day in font of every one she comes up to me with the “cool” guys making fun of me saying “why would any of them want to date you” and that’s how the hell started. A few months later, one of the other girl’s started again with saying that I stuff my bra. She then pulled up my bra and top in front of the both grade 6 classes. Things like this continued for the rest of the year.
When Jr. High started it got worse, I was put in a class part time with other children with learning disabilities. This special class worked as both my saving grace and the source of my bulling through Jr. High. This class gave me a family of support; it taught me that I was not alone with my learning disability. There were other kids just like me, going through the same thing. But in the regular classroom the other children felt I was getting “special treatment”, when I was doing much better mark wise then most of the other children. What they did not see is the long hours I was putting in at home to even keep up with my school work. These good marks came because Miss. H who took the time to help me figure out how I learn best, which are skills I’m thankful for today. The other children saw it as cheating and reminded me of this on a daily basis.
By the time grade 9 came I was used to the bulling, I’d get blamed for the teacher finding out who was cheating on tests in class. That year I almost got beat up for telling on the person who threw the teachers’ slides out the window, when I was not even in the class at the time that it happened. I had gone home sick earlier that day and only few people noticed I was not there. Later on the year I was blamed for telling on the person who stole the teachers glasses. That day I was not even in school, I was at the hospital getting my wisdom teeth out. Although I did take the blame for both things, to protect someone, who had told me it was them .
After Jr. High, life got a little easier in high school, when I met more people like me, who enjoyed art. I was able to blend in more in high school. Then I after it come out in grade 12 that I was sexually abused by my step-father, from I age of 9 to 16, everyone felt so bad no one blamed me for anything after that.
To those who watch people getting bullied, you never know if there’s bigger secret someone is keeping. The bulling never seemed as bad as what I went through at home.
To those who are being bullied I know it’s hard but you’ll make it through it. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you become a stronger person because of it. I know it is hard tell an Adult from fear of it getting worse. Start by realizing you’re not alone in your story, reach out to friends to help you through it. I wish I had the strength to tell but I did not. I thank god every day for sending me people like Nancy that help me though it and had the strength to tell when the bulling got too bad for me to take at the time.
To those who bullied me for years, I forgive you for the hell you put me through, and thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself. It was a hard lesson to learn that way, but it gave me the strength and knowledge to write this, so my story might help others going though that same hell.Thanks again SO much to Natasha for sharing her story, knowing her through some of the worse parts I've gotta say that she's come a LONG way. The Follow up to this story is coming Wednesday, keep your eyes peeled for it. Remember any time you want to contact me with anything related to the blog series you can FB me, OR send me an e-mail nancy.wood@mbsradio.com .It's confidential unless you give me permission to use your name, Natasha was cool with this more so for the ending as I'm sure you understand. I'll end with a big thanks to the creator of the logo, Nate. Keep an eye out for the follow up!
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