The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #7

This is an example of being bullied as an adult. This person has opted to remain anonymous, as a matter of fact I don't even know this person, it was passed on through a mutual friend of ours. I did censor this post slightly. I could have opted for a disclaimer or censorship, but in this case the story is still relevant with the censoring, while the other would not have been. This person obviously also did not do the interview format, because well then they would have had to be in contact with me. Instead they did up a piece themselves, and here it is:
Well, I've gotten bullied allot both as a kid and as an adult due to being disabled and in a wheelchair. I usually fight it, however, I was with a woman who I ended up having to leave over her doing it and getting me to believe what she'd said.

I met the woman online and we had a long distance relationship. It started off alright, however, after about two months she started taking frustrations from home out on me. She came out the first time and, without going into to much detail, started telling me I needed Viagra while she was drinking and pissed off. I chalked it up to her having a bad day when she said 'sorry, I was just drunk.' That continued and then she started throwing other things in. She knew I wanted children, however, she already had two and didn't want any more. I told her ok, then she started rubbing it in my face.

She'd give my female friends 'evidence' of me talking about them, then come consol me when those friends left over it. If she saw me talking to a female I would get comments about kids or any number of different things. This went on for 3 years. I finally got tired of it and broke it off. It took me 6 months to finally get out of bed after and two very real attempts to take my own life. What stopped me is either family would suddenly call or friends would. She had me to the point where I didn't feel myself worthy of anyone and comments are still in the back of my mind if I try to approach women.


Big thanks to this individual for doing up this piece for me, and for the blog series. Remember if you'd like to get involved in the Anti-bully Blog series, or even just get more info, you can e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com

Logo credit To Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #6 Follow up

For starters want to apologize that this post wasn't out yesterday, but Sunday night I got CRAZY sick and well I wasn't in yesterday, mostly because I could barely lift my head let alone go on a computer. ANYWAY While I'm on the mend (not 100% but w/e) I DO have the follow up for Friday's post. Am I starting to sound like a broken record yet? That blog Friday was a hard one. Quick reminder that my interview was with my younger cousin. The relationship she and I actually have, we’re more like sisters than cousins, and it’s been like that since we were kids, when this was going on, PS I knew NOTHING about this. I remember going to her birthday parties and the majority of her class was there (and with a 6 year age difference they mostly drove me nuts). Carolyn saying she was sensitive, maybe one of the biggest understatements of the year (no offense lady I love you). Her insecurities were evident, and making her cry was EASY. This being said it’s NOT a reason to bully some one, and if you go back to one of my earlier posts where I mentioned I was in the principal’s office once for hitting a guy who was shoving around my little brother… if I’d known about this, it would have been the same story. I DO have to say she has an incredible way of looking at it, and is VERY positive. I’m kind of blown away to be honest. I’m glad she was able to find a “safe place” while at school, because really not a lot of people are that lucky.

Remember if you have any questions or would like to contribute to the series you can e-mail me at nancy.wood@mbsradio.com

Logo credit to Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #6

Ok so last weekend I was "home", back in NS. Because I have my wedding coming up (one month and one week exactly)I was at some showers the fam's were throwing for us. At the end of one, I had 2 family members offer to do a piece for me for the blog. This is the first of the two, my cousin Carolyn. I was shocked to learn A LOT of what I did in this interview, but I'll save that for Monday's Follow up. Here is the interview I had with my cousin.

Nancy: So what has been your personal experience with bullies?

Carolyn: I was bullied a lot in elementary school. I was pretty shy when I first started school and REALLY sensitive, so I was an easy target. I was called names, and I was picked on because of my looks. As I went through elementary, I managed to get very good marks, so I was also picked on because I was smart. Because I was picked on a lot, I often found myself getting along better with my teachers then my fellow classmates giving me the title 'teacher's pet'.

N: If you found refuge in your teachers, how did they react to it?

C: My teachers were always very nice to me. They didn't seem to mind talking to me at all. When I was in grade four, my teacher always did the supervising for our recess and I usually spent the entire time talking to her. She always chatted with me, but would try to encourage me to use my break to hang out with my classmates. I always told her that I was happier talking with her, so I guess that she figured out that something was up. She never asked me about it, and sicne grade four was a better year for me, I never really brought it up.
For the most part, my teachers never really did anythign to stop the bullying and if they did say something, the bully would deny it and things would get worse.

N: Is that typically how you dealt with the bullying? by avoiding them? did you typically do other things to cope as well?

C: I know a girl who picked on me a LOT during elementary and she is the main bully that I remember. She had also been bullied for certain reasons and decided to retaliate by bullying other people back. I saw how that hurt other people, and how it only made everyone else hate her and pick on her more and I didn't want to be like her. As a result of this, if I wasn't able to avoid the bullies I tried to be really nice to them. I figured that if I was nice to them, then I was not doing anything wrong and they would have no reason to pick on me. Believe it or not, this did help me out especially in junior high. I was picked on in grade seven a lot, but I just tried to be as nice as possible to the bullies. By the end of junior high, some people still picked on me from time to time if they were in groups, but if I caught them on their own they weren't mean to me at all. They might not have talked to me, but they didn't pick on me. This mentality is something that's always stuck with me, so if I ever have an issue with someone, I always try to treat them really well in the hopes that they'll change.

N: So Kill them with kindness was how you dealt with it? Did you ever encounter physical attacks?

C: Luckily I never had any physical bullying. It was all verbal. That's not that the verbal bullying didn't have just as harsh effects. To this day I do not take teasing of any kind very well. I've never learned how to deal with it because as I was growing up, it wasn't teasing and the bullies meant what they said so I've never learned how to appropriately handle it. I guess a part of me always wonders if they are just joking or if they actually mean it.

Nancy: So this HAS impacted you even as an adult? How did your parents deal with it?

Carolyn: It has, someways for the better and some for the worse. I already mentioned my inability to cope with teasing, but I also have a harder time with people my own age. I guess I'm afraid that they'll judge me and begin the bullying cycle all over again. This led me to be a lot more comfortable in speaking with adults, which has actually been a lot of help to me in the past few years. Because of this I was able to go and speak with important business individuals, be interviewed without much fear, and interact better with individuals who may one day employ me. Not many adults have high opinions of teenagers, but I have managed to make many good impressions, recieve many compliments, and be granted with many opportunities that may have otherwise been unavailable to me.
When I was being bullied, my mother made sure to keep the teachers informed about what was happening. She even managed to get the principal to take action twice when the bullying got very bad. She's a very determined woman, and thankfully the faculty at my school were very kind.

N: So your "safe place" where would you say that was?

C: Probably at home. The bullies couldn't get me there and I always had people to hang out with because my mother babysat kids. In grade 6 my 'safe place' was my best friend's house. Luckily we were in the same class that year and she was also bullied because she was quiet. The two of us stuck together, and the bullies started to ignore us. The one girl that I mentioned above tried to bully us both a lot that year, but we tried to stay away from her. Luckily, I am still really good friends with her.

N: I've said in previous posts, Bullies are basic mathematicians, they don't like it when you have a group that's bigger than theirs, I ask because you said the two of you stuck together, would you agree with that statement?

C: Definitely. And it works both ways. If there are more individuals backing up the victim, then the bully will not pick on them. In addition, if there are more supporters for the bully, or more bullies in general, then they are more likely to bully you. As I mentioned above, some of the people who picked on me when they were in a group were not mean to me when I spoke with them one-on-one. That doesn't hold true for all cases, like with the girl, but if you give them no reason to hate you and do not retaliate then it is possible to make a change.

N: Now you've already said you still live with the results of bullying, but it has ended, when did it end?

C: I think that the last issue that I had was in grade 8. By grade 9 I had some friends that I could really count on, and no one seemed interested in bullying me anymore. I had enough people who would come to my aid if there was a problem, so I think that scared most bullies off.

Nancy: If you could say something to kids going through what you did, what would it be?

Carolyn: Bullies are only interested in getting a reaction from you because when you react, you give them the power. Do NOT retaliate, and try not to show the bully how much it bothers you. If they lose interest in you, they WILL stop. Also, try to join a group at school. Whether it's a sport, a school club, or the band, pick something that you enjoy to do and associate yourself with people who have the same interests as you. If you do that, you'll make friends who will help protect and as well as having a 'safe place' where you can go and be yourself without fear of ridicule.

N: what about the bullies

C: They will never get far in life by bullying others. Bullying only makes you enemies, and you never know when that will come back to bite you. If the person became a bully because they were bullied, then they should know how it feels and should NEVER inflict that pain upon anyone else.

Big thanks to Carolyn, and remember if you want more info on the Anti-Bullying blog series, including how to get involved e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com

Logo credit to Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #5 Bullying Canada

So I got an e-mail on Tuesday from Bullying Canada. I admit, I’d never heard of them but I’m glad to learn they exist. They’re based right here in NB, and a MUCH needed organization. Am I biased, totally, am I wrong? Absolutely not! If you’re not familiar with their work , I had a look at their site, and it looks like they’ve done a BUNCH of work in Moncton and Fredricton (and I HAVE e-mailed about upcoming events in our neck of the woods). Hopefully my doing this blog on their group will help out with them out there, because they’re in place to help. Like I said I’ve been checking out the site, I guess I’ll start with the “What is bullying” Tab. You may be sitting there saying, the majority of us KNOW what bullying is. Yup the stuff you’d expect to see is there, BUT it goes above an beyond. It includes things like the effects of bullying for both the victim AND the bully (neither are really good),some statistics, it dispels myths, AND in my opinion MOST importantly has the “Symptoms” (for lack of a better term) that a parent might see in a victim of bullying. The Find resources tab helps you to find local resources. My FAVORTIE tab is probably the talk to Some one Tab. This one has tips, that were ACTUALLY done up by students from Bathurst High. Stuff for the victim, the bystander (and might I point out potential Anti-Bully), and the Bully themselves. There IS also a button, that I found interesting. I know when you’re being bullied you can be secretive about it, and maybe hesitant to check out the site an your options because you’re nervous some one may find out. There is ACTUALLY a button that says leave this site quickly, and sends you RIGHT to google. While I hadn’t been aware they were out there prior to their e-mail, I will be interacting with them and utilizing their site for my own use in my blog, and getting involved as best I can. And I encourage you to do the same. Thanks again to the Co-founder of Bullying Canada for reaching out to me, you will be hearing from me, hoping we can team up here to fight back against this growing issue.'
Check out the site, even if bullying isn't an issue in your life now, if you know how to find them you know you have somewhere to turn
http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/

Logo credit to Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #4 Follow Up

Well yesterday’s edition was a harder one to read. I won’t go into detail about how I know that individual because they chose to stay anonymous. With a story like that, I can’t say I blame them. While it’s a story that NEEDS to be shared, to be the person in the story would be hard. Because this is some one I know, I’m glad they didn’t succeed in trying to end it all, however I wish that their sister hadn’t either. This sounds like a story you’d see on TV on the crime shows, the one when it’s over, you can go back to the real world where it doesn’t happen. Well I’m no TV writer, and neither is this friend of mine, this story is VERY real. I knew bits and pieces of this story but never the ACTUAL details. It scares me to know some one I’m friends with went through this. Or anyone for that matter. I know this person to be a VERY strong individual, and this proves it, Harassed DAILY, problems at home, sexually assaulted by some one they trusted, losing their sister to something that THEY had been going through? And surviving. I’m not sure I would have. While this story is a sad one, it’s an important one. I DID have to put a disclaimer on it, but I hope most people looked past that and DID read it. I think this is a story with a STRONG message. Please spread the message. Bullying, it’s stupid, and pointless. People get hurt and people die, and people get left behind. I’m an Anti- Bully, I say it with pride, and I know I’m not alone, don’t let their victims think it either.

Remember if you want info on the Anti-bullying blog series, including but not limited to how to get involved in the series e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com. Tomorrow's Blog, well something a little different. Yesterday I was contacted Via e-mail by Bullying Canada. I'd never heard of them before that, but since then have learned they're a fantastic resource, and they're based out of NB! So details on them tomorrow!

Logo Credit to Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #4

*WARNING* The Following Blog Post Contains Mature Subject Matter that Some People May Find Disturbing. Discretion IS Advised

I didn't post that to be funny, you may seriously find this disturbing. I'd been braced a little for it because I know this individual and it still bothered me. THAT being said it's a story with a VERY strong message, and while it might be disturbing to some, it will also hammer home the point of this blog series. My friend has elected to remain anonymous, and took it upon themselves to write their own piece. You won't see any interaction from me,it is completely them. I hope in some ways this was helpful to them, and I hope it will be for you as well.

It started when I was 5 -Grade primary. It started about 3 months into the school year someone thought it's be funny to make fun of my last name. they made so many "changes" and disgusting references with it . it became a daily occurance that hurt my feelings...as a small child you're easily hurt. This continued into tripping me on the bus so i would fall into the mud,guck and grime on the bus floor.this progressed into pushing me down and shoving me at any opportunity.Then a select group of girls took it upon them selves to be my constant bullies. They pulled my hair,tripped me pushed me called me names. it was every day. teachers couldn't catch them,bus drivers would talk, I was screwed! I told me parents but the school said nothing.did nothing. it continued to jr high. My first boyfriend was chased away from the bulling that occurred. So I had to date boys from outside my own school who didn't know me or them. at this point my bullies got worse-I was then tortured with harsher names,slut whore etc. I hadn't even had sex but was a whore? WTF? I was so hurt. At 15 I was raped,while babysitting for a "family friend" and guess what happened at school when it got out? I asked for it,It was my fault,it didn't happen I was looking for attention. Imagine having to go through the emotional chaos of being raped,courts&trial etc....to deal with this at school on top of it? I became suicidal.and was in a downward spirial. My aunt caught me cutting myself up trying to achieve what i wanted most to just die.I had enough..I slowly came around to become secure,changed schools,got new friends, changed my life.Only to not know that while i was living with my aunt my sister was taken the heat i once endured.OMG. Life at home was hard as our parents were split and dad drank quite a bit. My sister was great in school and had it all except for a few bad ppl who had older siblings that i went to school with who decided she was like me....infact we couldn't have been more opposite! She was laughed at during her last hours on this earth because of anothers mistake during a tae kwon do demonstration she did with my aunt at her school. she took it to heart. then a couple of friend accused her of things she wasn't doing. She came home and succeeded in what I didn't.at 14 she took my dad's rifle and shot herself in the head. Gone -my only sibling. MY little sister. I didn't know it was so bad...I missed it,I was filled in by her "friends" after it went down. Why couldn't anyone open their mouth to tell me there was a problem? They sure could open their mouths to bad mouth her or me ....pass along the rumors,etc but couldn't take 5 mins talk to her find the truth and apologize?
Why is it that now technology is the new way to "hide" Bullies hide behind this crap now. I mean really? Doesn't that make them the cowards? Parents need to be even more vigilant with the kids and the kids need to learn respect. Problem is it starts at home and i'm sure what happened in my generation to have lost so much respect for other to not teah your own kids . I was taught the most valuable lesson in life it was "To treat others as you want to be treated." Why can't school enforce this more? Why is it not taught at home? I hope we can all find a way to help those who need it. Support kids help phone...pass this out to every child you know. Let them know someone is there. If it's the only thing you do, it's better than nothing.

A HUGE thank you to this Anti-bully. Remember any questions about this or any blog post can be e-mailed, in the strictest of confidence to nancy.wood@mbsradio.com.

Logo credit to Nate

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #3 Follow up

Ok I totally 100% remember when Melissa went to the harassment officer at the school. Talking to some people here at work, I’m not sure any part of this program is in local schools or not. Ours was a branch of the Peer Helper group. I was involved in this program because while it was great to have a guidance councilor at our school, some times kids want to talk to kids. This program was run by our guidance councilor and about 3-4 other faculty members. About 6 students from each grade went through the training and when called upon would talk with students who requested them. The harassment officer was one of the other teachers involved in the program. The PROBLEM was that the majority of the student body WERE NOT aware we even had one, Melissa was informed by me because I was a peer helper. Thinking about that program, I think this is the day and age where we need it most. I encourage young people to go to their guidance councilors and ask if such a program exists at their school. If it doesn’t ask if there is a way you can start one up. If there is, you needed to ask so CLEARLY it’s not publicized enough, encourage them to do more to educate the student population that this program is there for their use.


As far as standing up for yourself in a situation with a bully, I agree with Melissa, you need to be able to stand up for yourself in live in general, but make sure you’re not putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. IF you can just walk away do it. Walk home with or sit on the bus with your friends. Believe it or not bullies tend to be mathematicians…basic math…they know they and their 2 friends is a larger number than just you. Bullies don’t like equal to or greater than their #. Avoid letting them into your world. If you don’t get along with some one, they don’t sit at your table, they don’t get on your Facebook account…avoid them as best you can. I’m not telling you to go get a HUGE group of friends and confront them, because lets face it, you do that and you’re no better than they are. I AM telling you to surround yourself with the right people, the ones who think you’re awesome, because guess what…you ARE awesome!


Alright so remember if you'd like to get more info on getting involved in the blog, either with a piece or even a logo, AND if you want to reach one of the Anti Bullies, you can e-mail it to me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com. Big thanks to Nate for our current logo. I DO need to give a heads up on tomorrow's blog. It comes with a disclaimer because it deals with...at the risk of sounding like one of those TV disclaimers, Mature subject matter. I don't want to censor posts too much basically because the mature subject matter, kind of hammers home the message of this whole series. I will also add the disclaimer when I post it tomorrow, and WILL NOT be posting on the K100 page. While I work for k100 this is not a k100 project, it's mine, and I will take responsibility for the posts. Some of the story is Disturbing, because I know the person I found it particularly disturbing. They will remain anonymous as well. Disclaimers WILL be posted with tomorrow's edition as well. Thanks

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #3

Ok so here is the third edition in the series.This one was an interview with my good friend Melissa. She like me only had a brief period of time where she remembers BEING bullied, she has more of a memory of when we all started standing up for ourselves. Here's the interview:
Nancy: What are your own Experiences with Bullying?

Melissa: The experiences I have were mainly in Junior High. I was the new girl in town... Different, and of course people would pick up on that.

N: Getting a little more specific, was it things said to you, or was it ever physical?

M: It was never physical, it was always teasing verbally.

N: was there a specific group that typically did it?

M: Yup. It was the same group of guys every time.
Maybe about 4-5 of them.

N: How did you deal with that?

M: At first I would laugh it off, but there is only so long you can do that before it really starts getting to you. It hurt. Sometimes I would retreat and try to ignore it, sometimes I would wait till I was in the washroom and cry to myself. I was never really one to cry in front of people I don't know.

N: So After the new girl deal had past, did the bullying continue?

M: Oh yes, they found other things to tease me about. If it was not about how my hair was, it was how I was dressed, or just something random.

N: How did people around you react to it?

M: Most of the class laughed along with them... It was my friends who really stood by me and helped me ignore it. - Teachers? They pretty much just ignored it.

N: (I knew this was in reference to myself and our other friends)what sort of things would we do to help you?

M: Really just tell me to ignore them, that what they said was untrue and to basically take what they said with a grain of salt. When it didn't stop they helped me build courage to bring it up to the Harassment officer in the school. I was scared the teasing would just increase if I did that at first.

N: I think I remember that. When would you say this all ended for you?

M: I would say shortly after I went to the officer and I confronted each person in private and they apologized. - However, it was never really over... After that it was people I knew who would be bullied. So, knowing what it was like, I took it upon myself to stand up for those people who were too scared to stand up for themselves

Nancy: ok I'm definitely going to come back to that, but forgot to ask you, did you go to your parents at all with this?

Melissa : I never went to my parents.... I don't know why... When I would get home from school I would spend all my time in my room unless I was out with friends. I don't think they ever knew I was bullied at school.

N: Do you think if they'd know it would have made things different?

M: Probably... I had very protective parents... I know they would have done something to try to stop it... Perhaps that is why I didn't go to them. I was scared it would just make the teasing worse.

N: O k this part may seem a lot less of an interview and more of just a topic of conversation. That's because I was one of the friends who went through this with you so it almost seems stupid for me to ask you questions I know the answers to. You said you started standing up for people too scared to stand up for themselves. Do you have a for instance for me?

M: There was one time, I don't think it was you were scared to stand up... It was just no one was saying anything. I remember someone making comments about your mother... And I wasn't standing for that... So I went off on them for that. I think Angela or Lisa joined in...

N: k so for people who are reading this, the relevance of a comment about my mom, is that she died when I was like 5. It's actually weird I was talking with some one here at the station about this situation when I mentioned you were going to be featured. For the record, it was Lisa, followed by me, Angela held our backpacks. We didn't out number them either did we? it was like 3 on 3 and it was actually boys who said it. you followed one home and told his parents too didn't you ? (oops I guess as a kid I didn’t follow my own advice, that violence it stupid)?

M: Not that time... When I followed the guy home it was someone who had been throwing rocks at us as we walked home from school. I think this time it was they just left when they were shocked that we stood up like that.

N: I don't remember it getting too violent, I think they were jsut shocked because we were girls lol

M: lol Perhaps. Most of the time bullies are very surprised when their targets stand up for themselves... OR when someone stands up for them. At least back then... It shut them up real quick.

N: We DO have a few stories, maybe we were victimized more than we realized

Melissa: We do have a couple. It is surprising when we look back. The worst ones for me were not the personal bullying I went through. I seemed more effected when someone I cared about was bullied. I think that's why I got the courage and stood up for them.

Nancy : See stuff like this is what ACTUALLY started this series. I'd been talking about the issue of bullying and even mentioned how we ended up being friends with the kids that were bullied. It's actually where I started using the term Anti-Bully. That being said, I DID have some one I interviewed say, at some point or another we're all bullies, we may not even realize it. do you agree with that?

M: I have to say. Personally, I do agree. I know in elementry we all made fun of each other as a joke... But who are we to know that the other person wasn't secretly hurt by what we said? We would call our friends names as a joke... They wouldn't ever really come to us and say we hurt them...

N: Now with you we have the unique opportunity to talk to a mom about this. You have a 2 year old, and a second little one on the way, are you scared of what bullying has become, and what it could be for them?

M: I am. I am very scared for them and what it could be like for them in school. I am scared not only that they could become a victim themselves... But they could even become a bully... I can only hope what I teach them will prevent either.

N: Now, I'm gonna try and get you out of mom mode, and ask you, if you could say anything to the younger generation, that is dealing with being bullied right now what would it be?

M: I would have to say that if you are being bullied... as bad as it may be.. Do not let it happen. Retreating into yourself may seem like the passive way to do it. But you should tell someone about it, tell your friends, parents, someone... It will only continue unless you stand up for yourself in someway. Most of the time... The bullies don't expect it.. If it keeps happening... Just keep fighting back. They need to know that you are not as passive as they may think...

N: What about the Bullies? Got something to say to them?
(After A LOT of typing)
I'm thinkin there are a bunch of things you'd like to say

M: gotta send it in parts... lol too long for one post
There is sooo much I could say to bullies. I am not going to talk down to them because that would make me no better then they are. -- What I am going to tell them is that they need to understand and find the reasons behind what they are doing... Their words hurt... There could very well be reasons as to why they are saying those things... They could have insecurities about themselves and making someone else feel small is the only way to deal with it... They could have problems at home that make them deal with it... I read that most people who bully, are bullied themselves...
Either by siblings... Or parents... They too need to stand up for themselves... But also be the better person and take a moment to look at what they are doing... How they feel when it is happening to them? Not so good I would suspect. I don't think they wake up one morning and say " I think I am going to be a bully today." I believe something causes them to act that way... And something needs to be done about that just as much as the bullying itself.
there we go.

Nancy: Ok so do you think YOUR expearience with bullies has influenced you as an adult?

Melissa: I'd have to say that it did influence me a little bit. It made me not put up with it at least.


BIG thanks to Melissa, remember if you had a question or wanted to be in contact with Melissa or any of the other Anti-Bullies, e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com. Use that same address to get more info on how to become an Anti-Bully. AND if you want to give us a new logo, e-mail me! Big thanks to Nate for our current one

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #2 Follow Up

So in interviewing Pat, I learned A LOT. I’ve been friends with him for YEARS, but I don’t think I even knew of HALF of the stuff he shared with me. I knew he kept to himself and for a while, but I didn’t know about how bad it got. I knew about the issues with the school because well I overheard grown up talk. Pat, having known him for so long, and our families being so close? He’s like a brother to me, and like any good sister, when I WAS around I WOULD try and stand up for him. I said to him I thought that maybe I made a bigger target on him, because “he was being protected by a girl”. He tells me I’m wrong. Kids can be cruel, this well used sentence keeps playing over and over in my head, even though this project has just started. The fact kids made fun of him for having psoriasis, I felt the protective older sister thing for him, but really, that’s a health issue, he has NO control over. This reference might be on a lesser scale but would you make fun of some one for having cancer? Like I said lesser scale, but the idea is the same. Another thing he said after the interview was that if we realize it or not, we’re ALL bullies at one point or another. I’d have to agree with that. I know for a fact, there was a girl I hurt. I wasn’t relentless, but I DID hurt her. FORTUNEATELY with her, we’ve gotten past that, AND she has offered to share some of her stories. SHOULD any of them be about me, I won’t be proud to share the posts, but I WILL share them, and face the music. I’m VERY proud Pat was able to share this, and a little surprised he didn’t chose to be anonymous. BUT in the last 6 years (wow I still can’t believe that part) Pat HAS come out of that shell he used for protection and while , from what I’ve seen anyway, he is still cautious with people, he is now out there socially. That’s another win for our side!

That being said, a story was shared with me today that was a lose for our side. This is Courtney Brown's story:http://news.ca.msn.com/local/novascotia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=28248512
And this is a PERFECT example of why I chose to do this blog series. Thanks to Jenn for sharing that story with me.

Edition #3 hits the net tomorrow, featuring my friend Melissa. In previous posts I've mentioned a group of my friends and I used to be friends with the kids who got picked on, Melissa was one of them, so watch for that one tomorrow

Quick reminders, thus far all the people who have contributed to the Anti Bully Blog series have given me the green light to put this out there. If you have anything you'd like to say or ask anyone featured thus far, facebook, or e-mail me nancy.wood@mbsradio.com . Remember to repost the crap out of these posts, we need to get the word out there, these kids aren't alone! And finally, if you have some artistic abilities and would like to do a blog logo for us e-mail it to me and it could be featured on an up coming blog post. Currently featuring one done by Nate, thanks again Nate!

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #2

So this is the second Edition and this person chose to NOT be Anonymous. So allow me to introduce Pat, he's a friend of mine and has been for about 24 years...considering I'm 25 this summer that's saying something. Pat and I REALLY grew up together, and while I knew bits and pieces of his story, how can you REALLY know everything? Especially in his case, you'll see what I mean. Pat, like my first one wasn't sure where to even begin with his piece so asked that I do the interview format with him as well. I also think it was his way of doing something radio-like too, because when I did my first stint in Radio (at 25, and through our school)he was involved in it as well. So here is my interview with Pat:


Nancy: So what has been your personal experience with bullies?

Pat: pretty much started right away in junior high and didn't really end until after grade 11

N: what sort of things was it you dealt with, like name calling, physical bullying etc?

P: pretty much all of it, name calling, physical... Name calling went from dandriff head to fatty, fatty cakes stuff like that

N: How did you deal with it?

P: The name calling I just let it happen, some of the nicknames like dandriff head really hurt becuse no one understood what psoriasis of the scalp really was, and I mean the kids were 11 and 12, they didn't know what it was

N: what about the physical attacks? what was it specifically you had to deal with ?

P: In grade 9 I was suspended for fighting... I didn't throw a single punch, I got pushed against a locker by a guy, his friend came from behind me and puched me into him, next thing I knew I was on the floor after getting punched in the throat, the guy that punched me didnt even get a slap on the wrist, while i was suspended for 2 days. From that point I started to close up, not talk to anyone, if someone talked to me, i gave the quickest answer and went back to my own world

N: So is that how you typically dealt with it? Kind of closing off the world?

P: Yeah pretty much, I started listening to alot of music, reading alot of book, and just trying to do my best and make it out of school where everyone thinks life gets easier

N: How did you feel when this was going on?

P: Like it was normal, the teachers would see it going on and do nothing, the principal wouldn't do anything, so I just stopped trying to get help from them. My dad even went into the school to talk to the principal to see what can be done, they promised him they would take care of it, but nothing was done in the end, it was just really dishearting

N: So your parents were involved and tried to fix this, what did they say to you to try and help you?

P: It was only my dad that ever did or said anything, me and him would talk, he did notice that I didnt really have any friends I never asked to go to so and so place, he would talk to me, try and find ways and things I could say to the bully's to make them stop, he went into the principal we all had a meeting, they promised some stuff that never was delivered. My dad even fought my suspension

Nancy: Is it safe to say home was your safe place?

Pat: defeniftly, I had my books, my video games, i had scouting (somewhere I was actually accepted and not bullied) I have bowling, and baseball in the summers.

N: Well that's good, because at the risk of sounding old, kids today don't seem to have that. Now you said that this went on until the end of grade 11, what changed then ?

P: In Grade 10 I got my first job, I got my drivers liscence, some of the girls around the school started to notice me, I started to gain some friends who had the same musical interest and gaming interest as me, I had more freedom at home, so I was able to go out more, borrow the car and what not

N: So when you found your own social circle, and you just didn't register on their radar anymore?

P: it felt like everyone in my circle were out to protect eachother, if someone came and tried to make trouble or bully on of our own, we told them to bugger off

N: So it was a battle of numbers? How many was it that used to harass you?

P: In Junior high it was 3 main people, combined with some of their friends, in High school it was only 2 people I can think of right now

N: Now you mentioned that you were just trying to get out of School to where people think life is easier, did you actually find that? Socially anyway?

P: Well since Highschool things have gotten much better, I am still friends with a few people I was in Highschool, I have met many great new friends since then, and of course I have broken out of my shell alot more, and started dating and have had a few serious relationships in that 6 years since grad

N: Has it really been that long? oh crap LOL. So do you think that having been bullied that you feel like it's influenced you in your life now as an adult?

P: It pains me seeing that bullying is only getting worse within the school, and the school administrations are still doing what the were doing 10 years ago when I went through it all a big nothing. Now with Facebook, text messaging, instant messaging, the kids can't get away from it like I used to be able to, because it follows them home

N: So having had your past it makes you more concerned about the younger generation who are going through it now?

P: for sure, the kids have no where to run and hide from it

N: If you could say something to those Kids, what would it be?

Pat: Don't listen to them, try to open up, talk to your friends, talk to your family, just talk to someone about how you are feeling, don't keep it all bundled up

Nancy: What about the bullies, what would you say to today's crop of bullies?

P: Why are you doing this? Does it give you a sense of pride knowing that you are hurting them?


BIG Thanks again too my good friend Pat. Pat has also given me permission to let people connect with him, so if you have a question or something to get to Pat, or our Anti Bully from the first Edition, don't hesitate to message me either Via FB or e-mail nancy.wood@mbsradio.com. Also If you have a logo for the Anti Bully blogs send it to me and it could be featured on an upcoming edition. Thanks to Nate for the current logo. Make sure you repost this link as much as you can, spread the word, and Be an Anti-Bully!

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #1 Follow up

So yesterday was the first post in the series, and I'm REALLY happy with how it's been received. Because yesterday's was Anonymous I've been gushing to that individual since I started getting feedback. I can't share with you who it was, because this person chose to take me up on contributing anonymously, an offer I've made to EVERYONE involved. I expect about 1-3 more contributions this week, perhaps more, but I think one more this week can be guaranteed. I think with each of these stories we have the opportunity to learn something. The first one works on just SO many levels. It addressed of course bullying, what this entire series is about. But why? Material objects was part of it. I fail to see how the worth of an individual can be measured by possessions. I Understand that society quite often does this, but it makes it no less pathetic. Another reason was because they were different. Well I do know this person personally, and they are different, an individual. For me personally I can respect an individual more than a sheep. How BORING would it be if everyone was the same?! So we choose to shun and abuse people who are? For an intelligent society that's freakin stupid!I'm glad this person came to the other side with a positive outlook. Unfortunately that's not always the case. The first person I approached for this project was maybe the worst case of bullying I've ever seen in my life. Their hesitation with the project is that they said that they don't really see a positive story in theirs. Unfortunately that's the reality. We don't always have a happy ending. I'm happy they're on this side of it now able to tell their story. Not sure when that one will be coming but I think this person won't let me down. I do have an interview planned with my longest running friend. He's told me he doesn't need to be anonymous. Our Parents have been friends for years and I've literally known him as long as he's been born, which was 6 months after me. While I DO know bits an pieces of his story, he's never actually opened up to me about that. SO If all goes to plan his Story should be Edition #2. Thanks for reading, I hope you'll continue to, and spread the word. Remember the person in the first Edition has given me the ok to open up the lines of communication. If you have something you'd like to ask or say to them, you can message me on FB or e-mail me @ nancy.wood@mbsradio.com I offer to you the same Anonymity I offer to all the contributors. Also if you'd like to be a contributor and share your story you can message me for this as well. One more thing you can message me for, is the logo. If you are artistic and would like to send me a logo design I'll feature it in an up coming edition. Thanks to Nate for the one on today's post! If you'd like to spread the word don't hesitate to post this or any of the parts of this series on your facebook or anywhere else you can think of! Thanks again!

The Anti Bully Blog Series, Edition #1

Ok so this is the first edition of the Anti Bully Blog series. I've posted a bunch of blogs spouting off how much I hate bullying. That being said, I can only rant for so long before it gets stale. I wasn't a kid who was bullied much, when I was REALLY little I was, but when I got older, I was more of the kid who was the friend of the kid who got picked on. So I've sent out the SOS to people I know who had experiences with bullies. I've given the option to remain anonymous which the first person has chosen to do. So since this friend didn't even know where to begin, I interviewed them. This was one of the rare cases where I knew this friend had been bullied but I didn't know the story. So here is the interview :
Nancy: what were your experiences with bullying?

Anti Bully: When I was younger I was always the odd one out, and my family never had alot of money so I always had second hand clothes . Some kids at school and at the boys and girls club would make fun of me for that, or for doings things differently becuse I wasnt taught how to from my parents

N: W hat kind of things would they do/say?

AB: They would call me names, and put my family down saying we were poor and such, and at times they did push me , like when we were in line for something they would just cut in front of me

N: Did they all do it or was it like one main leader type and the others would just fall in line?

AB: It was mainly a group of like 3 or 4 people that all did it equally

N: How did you deal with that?

AB: I tried to ignore it, and that was it, I didnt try and do anything really

N: I can't imagine that made you feel good, did you have anyone to turn to?

AB: Not really, I always kept to myself, my parents werent always around

N: Did your Parents have anything to say about it?

AB: Not really, I felt like my parents didnt care as much as they should have

N: how old were you when this was going on?

AB: about 9 or 10

N: this may sound like a weird question to ask, but how did you feel while this was going on?

AB: I wasnt the happiest, but I didnt show it. It made me feel like I didnt belong

N: When did this change?

AB: It changed a bit when I moved back to saint john , but I still felt like I didnt belong much

N: Did you face similar things when you moved here?

Anti Bully: Not at first, wasnt until high school that I got bullied a little

Nancy: What happened there?

AB: I would get called names again for being different, and sometimes they would take my.back pack and just start kicking it

N: Had you found a new way to deal with it at this point or was it much like when you were younger?

AB: I still kept it to myself , but then I would just laugh to myself about it at how pathetic it is

N: So you had a greater self confidence when you were in High School?

AB: Pretty much, I had an i-dont-care-attitude

N: where do you think that stemmed from ?

AB: Probably from my parents attidtude towards it, they didnt care, so I didnt really think I should

N: Do you think it's effected the way you are now as an adult?

AB: Big time, I wouldnt be as happy as I am today

N: How So?

AB: I just dont care about things that effect me as much, I just laugh it off. And it made me how nice I am, because I never want to treat other people how I was treated

N: If you could say something to a kid going through the same thing you went through what would you say?

AB: I would tell them to keep their chin up, and not to let them bother you.

N: What about the bullies, what would you say to them ?

AB: I would tell them to stop it, there is no reason why they should be treating someone any different then they would want to be treated

Big thanks To that Anti Bully, and if you have a question you'd like to ask this Anti Bully make sure you post it here, or message it to me on FB, I'll be sure to ask them for you, and they've informed me they'd be happy to answer.

Also if you have a story to share let me know on FB and become an Anti Bully!

Not REALLY proud, but I did learn from it, now hopefully others can

So I’ve done my blogs on bullying, and how lame it is, and I PRIDE myself on being a bit of a tough chick who can stand up for themselves, but there’s a difference between standing up for yourself, and throwing a punch, a BIG one. It would be hypocritical for me to sit here and push this without saying that when I was in High School, I had a girl spreading rumors about me. I gave her her “warning”, but that wasn’t the end of it, they continued and I hit her. YES that was the end of that issue, nope I didn’t get in trouble because no one would rat on me, and my high school didn’t have a camera pointed to where I actually did it, and zero tolerance wasn’t there, it was still innocent until proven guilty. I was very smug when I told them to do just that, prove it. I don’t tell this story with pride, I tell it with shame. Sure I can stand up for myself, but I became the problem, that wasn’t a solution at all. The WORST part is, how do people know for sure it really was even happening, this is all “behind your back”, and people love to watch a good fight. This same girl I was in a fight with, in grade 6 was my best friend. While we were still in High School, I apologized to her, and she accepted, she also told me she’d said those things, in my case it WAS true, but hitting her was NOT the answer. When I was a kid, I was this anti bully, I pride myself on being, and am that same anti bully to this day, but for that one minuet, I was the bully. I push the anti bully thing, and in my heart I feel like I need to push it more because I slipped up. Violence isn’t the answer, use it only if you need to protect yourself, and a high school rumor…it’s not protecting yourself. She had it coming? Bull Shit! She was 100% wrong spreading stuff about me, but I was 100% wrong hitting her, and it didn’t feel good, when you punch some one it doesn’t feel good (ask some one who has arthritis @ 24 because she broke her hand), it hurts 2 people, you and the person you hit. I feel like informing people of this, I may let some people down. I’d let me down if I tell it, I speak from experience, and I need to share that, and letting myself down is more important to me than letting some other people down, I’m the one who has to live with myself EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. What’s kind of sad is if I had’ve had this same mentality back then, it never would have happened. I think what I may do now is turn to some friends of mine who were picked on and bullied growing up and ask them to share their stories. Look for those on upcoming blogs!