Not REALLY proud, but I did learn from it, now hopefully others can

So I’ve done my blogs on bullying, and how lame it is, and I PRIDE myself on being a bit of a tough chick who can stand up for themselves, but there’s a difference between standing up for yourself, and throwing a punch, a BIG one. It would be hypocritical for me to sit here and push this without saying that when I was in High School, I had a girl spreading rumors about me. I gave her her “warning”, but that wasn’t the end of it, they continued and I hit her. YES that was the end of that issue, nope I didn’t get in trouble because no one would rat on me, and my high school didn’t have a camera pointed to where I actually did it, and zero tolerance wasn’t there, it was still innocent until proven guilty. I was very smug when I told them to do just that, prove it. I don’t tell this story with pride, I tell it with shame. Sure I can stand up for myself, but I became the problem, that wasn’t a solution at all. The WORST part is, how do people know for sure it really was even happening, this is all “behind your back”, and people love to watch a good fight. This same girl I was in a fight with, in grade 6 was my best friend. While we were still in High School, I apologized to her, and she accepted, she also told me she’d said those things, in my case it WAS true, but hitting her was NOT the answer. When I was a kid, I was this anti bully, I pride myself on being, and am that same anti bully to this day, but for that one minuet, I was the bully. I push the anti bully thing, and in my heart I feel like I need to push it more because I slipped up. Violence isn’t the answer, use it only if you need to protect yourself, and a high school rumor…it’s not protecting yourself. She had it coming? Bull Shit! She was 100% wrong spreading stuff about me, but I was 100% wrong hitting her, and it didn’t feel good, when you punch some one it doesn’t feel good (ask some one who has arthritis @ 24 because she broke her hand), it hurts 2 people, you and the person you hit. I feel like informing people of this, I may let some people down. I’d let me down if I tell it, I speak from experience, and I need to share that, and letting myself down is more important to me than letting some other people down, I’m the one who has to live with myself EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. What’s kind of sad is if I had’ve had this same mentality back then, it never would have happened. I think what I may do now is turn to some friends of mine who were picked on and bullied growing up and ask them to share their stories. Look for those on upcoming blogs!