So this is the second Edition and this person chose to NOT be Anonymous. So allow me to introduce Pat, he's a friend of mine and has been for about 24 years...considering I'm 25 this summer that's saying something. Pat and I REALLY grew up together, and while I knew bits and pieces of his story, how can you REALLY know everything? Especially in his case, you'll see what I mean. Pat, like my first one wasn't sure where to even begin with his piece so asked that I do the interview format with him as well. I also think it was his way of doing something radio-like too, because when I did my first stint in Radio (at 25, and through our school)he was involved in it as well. So here is my interview with Pat:
Nancy: So what has been your personal experience with bullies?
Pat: pretty much started right away in junior high and didn't really end until after grade 11
N: what sort of things was it you dealt with, like name calling, physical bullying etc?
P: pretty much all of it, name calling, physical... Name calling went from dandriff head to fatty, fatty cakes stuff like that
N: How did you deal with it?
P: The name calling I just let it happen, some of the nicknames like dandriff head really hurt becuse no one understood what psoriasis of the scalp really was, and I mean the kids were 11 and 12, they didn't know what it was
N: what about the physical attacks? what was it specifically you had to deal with ?
P: In grade 9 I was suspended for fighting... I didn't throw a single punch, I got pushed against a locker by a guy, his friend came from behind me and puched me into him, next thing I knew I was on the floor after getting punched in the throat, the guy that punched me didnt even get a slap on the wrist, while i was suspended for 2 days. From that point I started to close up, not talk to anyone, if someone talked to me, i gave the quickest answer and went back to my own world
N: So is that how you typically dealt with it? Kind of closing off the world?
P: Yeah pretty much, I started listening to alot of music, reading alot of book, and just trying to do my best and make it out of school where everyone thinks life gets easier
N: How did you feel when this was going on?
P: Like it was normal, the teachers would see it going on and do nothing, the principal wouldn't do anything, so I just stopped trying to get help from them. My dad even went into the school to talk to the principal to see what can be done, they promised him they would take care of it, but nothing was done in the end, it was just really dishearting
N: So your parents were involved and tried to fix this, what did they say to you to try and help you?
P: It was only my dad that ever did or said anything, me and him would talk, he did notice that I didnt really have any friends I never asked to go to so and so place, he would talk to me, try and find ways and things I could say to the bully's to make them stop, he went into the principal we all had a meeting, they promised some stuff that never was delivered. My dad even fought my suspension
Nancy: Is it safe to say home was your safe place?
Pat: defeniftly, I had my books, my video games, i had scouting (somewhere I was actually accepted and not bullied) I have bowling, and baseball in the summers.
N: Well that's good, because at the risk of sounding old, kids today don't seem to have that. Now you said that this went on until the end of grade 11, what changed then ?
P: In Grade 10 I got my first job, I got my drivers liscence, some of the girls around the school started to notice me, I started to gain some friends who had the same musical interest and gaming interest as me, I had more freedom at home, so I was able to go out more, borrow the car and what not
N: So when you found your own social circle, and you just didn't register on their radar anymore?
P: it felt like everyone in my circle were out to protect eachother, if someone came and tried to make trouble or bully on of our own, we told them to bugger off
N: So it was a battle of numbers? How many was it that used to harass you?
P: In Junior high it was 3 main people, combined with some of their friends, in High school it was only 2 people I can think of right now
N: Now you mentioned that you were just trying to get out of School to where people think life is easier, did you actually find that? Socially anyway?
P: Well since Highschool things have gotten much better, I am still friends with a few people I was in Highschool, I have met many great new friends since then, and of course I have broken out of my shell alot more, and started dating and have had a few serious relationships in that 6 years since grad
N: Has it really been that long? oh crap LOL. So do you think that having been bullied that you feel like it's influenced you in your life now as an adult?
P: It pains me seeing that bullying is only getting worse within the school, and the school administrations are still doing what the were doing 10 years ago when I went through it all a big nothing. Now with Facebook, text messaging, instant messaging, the kids can't get away from it like I used to be able to, because it follows them home
N: So having had your past it makes you more concerned about the younger generation who are going through it now?
P: for sure, the kids have no where to run and hide from it
N: If you could say something to those Kids, what would it be?
Pat: Don't listen to them, try to open up, talk to your friends, talk to your family, just talk to someone about how you are feeling, don't keep it all bundled up
Nancy: What about the bullies, what would you say to today's crop of bullies?
P: Why are you doing this? Does it give you a sense of pride knowing that you are hurting them?
BIG Thanks again too my good friend Pat. Pat has also given me permission to let people connect with him, so if you have a question or something to get to Pat, or our Anti Bully from the first Edition, don't hesitate to message me either Via FB or e-mail nancy.wood@mbsradio.com. Also If you have a logo for the Anti Bully blogs send it to me and it could be featured on an upcoming edition. Thanks to Nate for the current logo. Make sure you repost this link as much as you can, spread the word, and Be an Anti-Bully!
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