SO I'm doing my blog today on the definition of a Healthy Relationship. The FINAL straw in this was some facebook posts I witnessed today regarding a messy situation with a friend of mine. Sorry no details for you but the people involved know the score on that one. No this blog isn't to bash anyone, everyone in life makes choices, and the choices are theirs to make. The thing is much like Newton's Laws of Motion with choices, To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I always had it figured out. I was once upon a time a boy crazy little girl. When I had a guy say he liked me? BOOM, interested. Not going to say it was a bad thing either. I love my life, and everything that has happened in my past has led me to where I am today, so no wouldn't change a thing. But I WILL tell you this, I HAVE a real man!

I've been with my husband for 6 years (as of 3 days ago) and married for almost 1.

Ladies, have you ever dated a guy where it seemed to be YOU made all the effort? Not saying that's not a "Real man" but he REALLY isn't the man for you. A guy who is worth your time would climb a mountain to get to you for five min. Effort in a relationship should be 50/50, not saying it ALWAYS will be, some times it will be more you, sometimes more him. But a relationship has 2 people and 2 should be trying here.

A Real man talks to you. I'm not saying annoy the hell out of him with the "whatcha thinkin" thing. I'm saying you talk, you share, and when you're not you're not uncomfortable in the silence.

If you feel insecure in your relationship, a real man will try and help you to be more secure, in word and deed.

A real man isn't whipped, he wants to do things for you. Ladies that doesn't mean you can say "If you were a real man you'd clean the toilet for me". Nope because then, you're a manipulative woman (sorry ladies I'm trying to play fair). A real man would see you trying to do something and offer to help...unless he knows better to stay away from your temper in your frustration.

Ladies some standards need to be raised. You don't NEED a guy. You should be able to function on your own, strong, smart and confident. The whole "Before you can love some one else you have to love yourself" thing...true story. BUT you could find a guy who just meshes with you well, the ying to your yang, before you know it...you'll feel like you need him. What's MORE he'll feel the same.

So this may all sound like it's out of a fairy tale...but to be honest...it's what I live. I know how lucky I am. So in there I hope you realized that where these are the "real man" traits, the opposite would be a little boy. OR possibly a guy who isn't into you. AND if a guy isn't into you? don't try and force it. A guy who thinks you're the most amazing person he's ever met. Doesn't that sound nice? Don't settle for less than that. If the feelings are gone (guys take notes on this one too) end it. You may feel guilty, but if you keep it going, you're not being fair to EITHER of you. If the feelings are gone you're wasting BOTH of your time, and possibly letting the other person get more emotionally invested. Some one may hurt, and you may feel mean, but it would be meaner to keep it going instead of everyone getting to move on. OH and REAL Men AND Women, do it face to face. Calls, texts and e-mails are cowardly, and don't speak well to ones character.

Don't settle. The person you're with should be the most amazing person in your eyes, and you in theirs. If relationships end, it can hurt, BAD but y'know what, it's an opportunity that BOTH parties should be taking. The opportunity is to take a step back and figure out what it is you want in future relationships. Bridges could be burned but it's an opportunity for something better, for both parties. I know when there's a break up, we like to think "he'll never find better than me". You can think that, it's comforting right? BUT the reality is you're both looking for better for you as an individual.

I'm no Doctor, so I can't say I've delved into human emotions as a science. No these are just lessons I've learned along the way, and what I've taken away. Odds are, you'll have to learn for yourself...how can you learn from an others experience?To be fair, these same points could be made for guys about girls too. Anyway that's my piece, thanks for reading :)